Even before an event occurs, you may feel the effects of grief. Grief has a way of sneaking into our lives at unexpected times. We may feel grief at the loss of our parents years before they die. A friend may tell us that they are moving away in a few months, but we feel the loss before they move away. A child may be moving off to college in the fall, but the grief is felt months before the event occurs. Anticipatory grief may reach the same levels as grief encountered after a loss, but subtle differences exist. You may feel more anger related to anticipating the loss of someone than you would after they are gone. You may lack some emotional control because the person or event is still present, and you can’t control the event’s outcome. Finally, some responses exhibited by a person anticipating loss may not be as typical as those experiencing the loss after the event happens. In short, you are preparing for the loss due to a future event by grieving before anything happens. Anxiety is a common symptom accompanying anticipatory grief. Anxiety stems from fearing the future and the uncertainty and unknown the future may bring. Anxiety is a response to the “Not Yet” phases of our lives that many people fear. I do not want to get too psychological here, but anticipatory grief tends to provoke anxiety about the future, why post-loss grief can evoke depression over the past. Your grief as you anticipate the loss of a loved one may cause you to devote a great deal of your time to being with and caring for the person. In most cases, there is an observable change in behavior and even emotional attitude in a person going through anticipatory grief. I wanted to start with this article on anticipatory grief because it is rarely recognized or discussed. Yet it is easy to see when people go through this emotional and even spiritual crisis. What to do about your anticipatory grief? Acknowledge that it exists and that you are going through this grief. Nothing is wrong with anticipating the loss of something or someone before it happens; however, not dealing with the loss healthily is not a good approach. Talk with the parties involved in the loss. It is OK to have an open dialogue about your feelings; they may also be feeling the same way. Pray about what you are going through. Prayer helps us connect to our deeper and higher selves. Prayer also encourages connecting to God for guidance and direction. Meditation may help you focus on why you are grieving at this time. Think about the events and life of the person who you may be losing meant in your life. Instead of lamenting, try to give thanks for those encounters. In all things, get professional help if you believe you need assistance. Grief is never a road that should be traveled alone. Expressing your sorrow and feelings will help free them from bottling up on you. talking is always the first step toward healing. Anticipatory grief has a way of stealing your future joy.
Spiritual Well-Being, Anticipatory Grief
